For the BELIEVERS

precious friends... :)  happy holidayyys!  It has been a while, but I hope each one of you found yourselves drifting off to sleep on November 24th with little tummies and hearts alike full of and from Thanksgiving!  I was so lucky to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with people I love so dearly, and that, in itself, was plenty to be thankful for though there are so many other things -- my cup overflows.  And now the most wonderful time of year is upon us!

As I'm certain many of you can relate, the past few months have been filled with busy schedules, papers, tests, work, friends, engagements, family, laughter, tears, love, peace, anxiety, sweet treats, books, joy, difficulties, decisions, emails, movies, TV on DVD, countless cups of coffee, phone calls, text messages, running, maybe a few letters here and there, and hopefully some late-night-pillow-talk with your bestie!  College is such a precious season of life, and I can hardly believe that it is a mere five months away from coming to a close.

I've made more genuine, loving, forgiving friends in the past four years than I ever thought humanly possible.  I'm so undeserving of them and undoubtedly do not thank Jesus enough for the precious people whom He has so gracefully allowed me to share life with these past few years.  Everything from living in the dorms to eating at the Caf to living in Theta and running down Chautauqua to spilling coffee on the way to class and drinking PTLs with the besties and biking around campus will forever be treasured in my mind.  Norman, Oklahoma is filled with so many vivid memories and so many more than my own.  Hundreds of thousands of lives have dwelt on this campus for over a hundred years.  As trite as it may sound, if walls could talk, I can only imagine the stories they'd have to tell.  But when I think of the stories that might be told of friends picnicking on the South Oval or pulling all-nighters at the Bizz during finals week or secret crushes in Microeconomics or tests taken in Dale or papers turned in at Gittenger or couples secretly (or not so secretly) makin' out in the Stacks, they're all special.

But what makes them even more special is when you connect the stories themselves to the people whom the stories are about.

Life in itself is so beautiful.  Creation is stunning and breathtaking, and so many times even a mere picture of the reality itself can move us to tears -- or me to tears at least (although we all know that isn't too much of a challenge).  How the universe works is mind-boggling, and I can't even attempt to begin to understand it.  I mean I could attempt, but let's be real, my efforts probs wouldn't be that fruitful.  Maybe your thing is the intricacies of how birds chirp and bees fly...  Or heck, I don't know, maybe you really like learning about chlorine or hydrogen or salinization or analyzing Shakespearian sonnets.  We're all special and unique in the things we enjoy.  But what is even more special than that...

is who we are.  

As cheesy as it sounds, what is most special about people is the heart behind their actions, the thoughts behind their words.  Think about the people you really love and the people who really love you.  You don't love them because they can name every species of caterpillar known to man.  Maybe you love caterpillars because they love caterpillars.  But I'd venture to say you love the people in your life because of something else -- something deeper.

You're special because of who you are -- because of what makes you who you are.  You're special because your heart and mind are uniquely yours.  For all the pain and joy dwelling inside of you, your story -- like mine -- is completely imperfect.  Yet the stories of all of our lives woven together somehow make something incredible.

For all of our hurts and pains and scars and joys and moments of sheer glee and freedom, while there is so much emotion (good and bad) tied up in those things, in reality, those are the things that have truly shaped us into who we are.  More so than that even, however, it is often the feelings we've experienced in life that allow us to relate to one another most deeply.  Shared experiences are so wonderful in fostering friendships, but more often than not -- it is the shared emotion from those shared experiences that bind us together in a beautiful way.  For even when the pictures of our lives aren't particularly pretty, when the stories of our lives lie next to one another, they're somehow so much stronger.

I always quote Frederick Buechner.  In fact, I've probably referenced this exact quote before, but it's my favorite... "The grace of God means something like this: Here is your life.  You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn't have been complete without you.  Here is the world.  Beautiful and terrible things happen.  Don't be afraid. I am with you. Nothing can ever separate us. It's for you I created the universe. I love you.  There's only one catch.  Like any other gift, the gift of grace can be yours only if you'll reach out and take it.  Maybe being able to reach out and take it is a gift too."

I love that.  You're a part of the party.  Heck, we are in the middle of the party!  And I'm pretty confident that even amidst all of its pain and suffering, life is a stinkin' awesome party.  Thank you, Lord, for inviting us.  

So many times we can get so caught up with what we're doing rather than resting in who we are.  I can be so guilty of this at times.  But here is the beautiful part... You weren't invited to the party because of what you do but because of who you are and even more so because of who God is.  But even above the idea that life is a party and we're all invited (we just have to show up), maybe the coolest thing is that behind all the little stories that make up the overarching story of an individual's life, there exists the creator of all good stories Himself.

He has already given us the most meaningful story of them all.  And in regard to His story, He simply asks us to believe.  Behind that story was a man named Jesus and behind Jesus was God because Jesus is God.  Jesus said that by looking at himself we could know and have seen God. See John 1:14, John 1:18, and John 14:5-14.  So many times we create in our minds a picture of what God looks like based off of our own experiences with authority figures or our own fathers even.  But GOD IS PERFECT.  God is the PERFECT Father. He is the DIVINE creator.  He is our protector, our high priest, our daddy.  He is PEACE and LOVE and JOY.  He is beginning and end.  All the good jokes -- he came up with them first.  He forgives always even when we cannot forgive ourselves.  He is faithful even when we are not.  He never leaves us and will never leave us.  He is so complex that to even begin to describe Him would completely limit His power and the entirety of who He is.

And yet we have such a difficult time believing and trusting.  (We aren't alone -- it happened to Job and Moses too... For God's response to Job see there.  Wowzers.  And before then when Moses doubted God's ability to use him, God replied, "I AM WHO I AM."

It's like He says, "Get in the boat.  I will be with you wherever you go.  I know you can't do it.  I know you can't possibly understand how much I love you or all that I am doing, but you underestimate me so.  Oh and did you forget... I win.  I already won."

I want to be completely honest in that some days it is difficult for me to believe everything about God and the Bible.  Sometimes I don't understand why God allows certain things to happen.  Even in my own life when I can justify painful situations by trusting that God knows what is best and that all things work for his glory -- that often times doesn't make the situation any less painful.  But somehow simply knowing that He sees the bigger picture (He created it) gives me joy.  It gives me hope.

Trusting and believing who He is gives me hope for eternity, and it makes me want to dance and sing and frolic in the sunset like it's heaven on earth.  I'm pretty sure the only reason I have that hope is because I believe that God is the ultimate creator, and He sees the bigger picture.  He sees the WHOLE picture.  He sees it all.  And in those situations where I don't understand a dang thing or I'm so stinkin' confused about a decision or the way a situation is playing out or everything seems to be crumbling down around me... I can stand to see the salvation of the Lord, for the battle is not mine but His.  He will fight for us if we are only still.  He holds our lives in His hands.  As believers, we have been adopted into the family and are HIS CHILDREN.  And if we are His children, than we share in His inheritance.  We share in his glory, and we share in His story.

In Christ, this is our story: While we are completely sinful beings, we are made NEW.  By believing in Jesus, we are restored into the beings we were intended to be.  The best way I can describe it is that it's magical in a sense because we can't do it on our own.  But it isn't magical at the same time because it's Jesus, and that's just who He is.  He restores.  He makes all things new.  He never gives up.  And it isn't as though believing in Jesus fixes all of your problems or that you never screw up again because life is still hard and you (or at least I) still make sooo many mistakes.  But that new life begins NOW.  So it isn't like we have to wait to be hopeful or joyful until we get to heaven because we have the power of the Holy Spirit inside of us to be peaceful and joyful and hopeful and loving in ALL situations because HE IS ALL THESE THINGS ALWAYS.  As our lives are reflective of our stories, our stories thus ought to be reflective of the one who created them in the first place.  

And I'm convinced that when we BELIEVE and firmly FIX OUR HOPE on JESUS, that hope should make us want to bring hope to others... to bring love to others... to let them know that THEY ARE LOVED... that in Christ... they are NEW... not better... NEW... To walk into situations where people are hurting and bring peace and bring love and bring joy not by our own power but by the power of Christ living inside of us.

Believe this Christmas and forevermore that God is with you and for you.  He saves.  He hears.  He sees.  He heals.  He loves and forgives always and forever.  And He simply asks that we take Him at His word and believe.

"I pray that God, the source of hope will fill you completely with joy and peace because you believe in Him.  Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit." -Romans 15:13

"whatever is in front of me, I choose to sing hallelujah!"

glory, glory, glory

hallelujah

All my love:)

For the Mountain Climbers

Occasionally in life, we find ourselves at the base of a mountain.  Perhaps you've been walking towards it for a couple of weeks, months, or maybe even years.  The mountains of our lives come in many shapes and sizes.  Some are little.  These usually only take a couple of days to summit.  Obviously everyone possesses his or her own; however, these small hills may look something like failing a test, spilling coffee, breaking your mom's favorite china cup, etc.

We also have our medium-sized peaks -- big decisions, speaking an uncomfortable but necessary truth into someone's life, etc.

But unfortunately, at some point in our lives, almost all of us (I would venture to say) will have a gargantuan mountain to climb -- divorce, addiction, death, affairs, eating disorders, losing a job, bankruptcy, self-hate, etc.  These things are serious issues, and I will be the first to admit, powering through things like this will usually take a bit more than a single day's efforts.  It may take a month or a year or multiple years, depending upon the damage that has been done to one's heart.

Often times, we look at the mountains before us and almost collapse, because of our inability to even take the first step.  We are so overwhelmed by the mountain's height and width and the conditions we will have to endure on the way up that we deem the attempt useless.

So we keep sitting, standing, running, sometimes even basking in our pain, because we think we'd never even make it up.  And what's worse, it might even be more painful along the way.  Some people assume they wouldn't even make it past the first five steps.  Let's take Lilly, for example.  (Please note: Lilly is not based upon the lives of any individual I know but is undoubtedly a reflection of what countless women are up against in this thing called life.)

Lilly lived a seemingly ordinary life.  She was married, happy, somewhat content with life until her husband had an affair.  Understandably so, Lilly found herself devastated, wondering who she was, feeling as though she was worthless, hopeless.  She loathed him.  She loathed herself.  "What was it?  What could I have possibly done to drive him away?  What is wrong with me?"  These questions loomed over her head and ultimately found rest on her shoulders, where they sat like anvils, weighing down her entire body.

She became discontent, despondent, and depressed.  Pretty soon, her performance at work dropped dramatically, and she was let go.  She found herself spending her days sitting on the couch in her home, alone.  She wanted so badly for the pain to go away.  So she fixed it the only way she knew how -- alcohol.  Months went by, and Lilly found herself feeling as though she couldn't live without it.  As soon as she woke up for the day, she'd pour herself a glass of vodka and refill it all day long.

Of course, there were days she had to venture out of the house.  And when she did, she would make herself look perfect -- flawless -- in attempt to mask the pain that was literally killing her.  So when people asked her how she was doing she would respond with a smile, "Fine, you know?  You would think I might be a bit hard of heart, but I'm great!  Just great."  But inside, her heart was shattered into a million pieces.  Her soul was so battered and bruised that she had become numb to the pain.

Lilly stands at the bottom of this mountain.  She has a choice, and the choice is hers alone.  To climb or not to climb?  I suppose there are pros and cons to each.  If she climbs, it may be a long time before she makes it to the top.  On the way up, she will undoubtedly cry -- sob, more likely.  It will hurt, and it will be very hard.  Because the catch is, if she starts the summit, her baggage will be stripped of her.  That's just the truth.  She will be physically unable to climb with ten tons of weight resting upon her shoulders.  She will have to throw it off.

Now, one might think the decision to throw away the baggage, the pain would be simple.  But it's not that easy.  You see, when we experience pain, we often forget a great deal about ourselves, because we're so caught up in the emotions we're feeling -- or lack thereof.  Lilly's husband cheated on her, and she became consumed by the thoughts of everything she was not -- forgetting everything she was.  She had claimed herself to be unattractive, ungodly, unintelligent.  She fell captive to the lies of this world, and they deceived her into believing herself to be someone she was not.  

The other specific obstacle keeping Lilly from making the climb was something inherent to all of us -- the fear of falling.  I've heard we are born with two fears and two fears alone: the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling.  Now, I would venture to say the fear of falling we're born with refers predominantly to falling off a cliff or out of your mother's arms.  But in reality, the fear of falling may be representative of far more than just that.  Lilly was afraid to climb, because she was afraid to fall.  

"What if I make the effort, make it almost all the way to the top, only to fall back to the bottom again?"  

I wish I could make each and every one of you the promise that if you attempt the summit, you would make it up in seconds, without a scratch.  But that isn't reality.  You may climb for weeks and months, and just as you reach the top, you'll want to give up and go back down.  You may want to go back down an hour after you start climbing.  

But I want you to envision yourself standing at the top of your mountain.  From that point, you can see for miles and miles.  You look behind you and see your past, and for some reason, from that height, everything that has happened to you seems to make a little bit more sense.  At first you may want to cringe at some of the things you had to walk through and some of the things you put yourself through, but then suddenly you turn around.  

You eyes fill with tears, because on the other side of the mountain lie the most beautiful sights you've ever seen.  You can't help but think, "Yes, climbing up here was the most difficult thing I've ever done, but it was so worth it."  

Life is never promised to be easy.  We're actually told it will be very difficult, but we are promised that everything has a purpose and everything works for our good.  I want to challenge you to make the first step and start to climb the Everest of your life.  But I want you to hear this -- do not attempt to make this climb on your own.  I've done very minimal climbing in my life, but I have ALWAYS gone with other people.  It makes all the difference.  

Know that you are not alone.  Do not believe the lies that something is wrong with you, because you are going to have to climb an Everest-sized mountain.  There is nothing wrong with you.  We are all human; we all have struggles.  We all have mountains to climb.  Know it will be difficult, but know we serve a God whose power is greater than anything on this earth.  He loves you and will FIGHT for you, however many times it takes, because YOU are His precious daughter.  You are unlike any other being ever created.  Your beauty is astounding, and you mean the WORLD to Him.  You cannot do anything to escape His presence.  He is ENTHRALLED by your beauty.  Nothing will ever separate you from his love -- NOTHING.  And He will be with you wherever you go, guarding and protecting you.  We are MORE than conquerers in Christ Jesus -- know this, believe it, and live life TRUSTING in this truth.  It was for FREEDOM he set us free.  

More to come.  All my love! 

"The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.  He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams.  He renews my strength.  He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.  Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.  Your rod and staff protect and comfort me.  You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies.  You honor me by anointing my head with oil.  My cup overflows with blessings.  Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever." -Psalm 23