I suppose I should make myself clear by what I mean in regard to the "future fearing." I'm not talking apocalypse here; however, after reading more Tweets than I could handle regarding Oklahoma's earthquake Wednesday, one would have thought we were reaching the end times. No this is not about the final days. Nor is this for those who struggle con el futuro perfecto (el punto de mejor importancia en la gramatica de espanol). No I am referring to the fear of the major question looming over many individuals heads -- "What in the heck am I going to do with the rest of my life?"
Recently I have been a tad bit overwhelmed by the notion of what I would like to do with my life post-college. Obviously there are many options -- perhaps not as many that will be available but many things in which I am quite interested. Seeing as I tend to sift through my thoughts much better aloud and on paper than simply in my head alone, let's take a little journey together. Venture with me, if you will.
Luckily, on this path to what one might call "self-discovery," I truly have discovered many things about myself -- some of which I have known for quite some time and some of which I am just now realizing. Take Boston, for example. Oh my heavens -- Lord, please let me live there. Just look at it.
"It's like the mother ship is calling me home."
You're ready to go too, aren't you? Perhaps my affinity for this lovely town developed as a child. I went with my family when I was much younger, and we stayed in Annisquam, Massachusetts -- breathtaking, literally. It had to have been if I was not older than six and still remember being in awe of the beautiful structures and cobblestone roads. Additionally, I've always been quite a fan of American history, and I feel like the streets of Boston are simply infused with beautiful thoughts of liberty and patriotism. And if all of that isn't enough, one of my favorite books as a child was Make Way for Ducklings, which is based in Boston. (I linked that to Amazon, because it's so wonderful, I highly recommend it. So if you haven't read it, go ahead and splurge the $12.91 -- you won't regret it.)
So there's an option. Move to Boston.
Now the question becomes what will I do when I get there?
Graduate school? Law school? Workforce? Teaching? Baking? Children's Book Author? Magazine Company Owner? Marriage/Family Counselor?
If I could, I would just do all of those things simultaneously. In fact, here's the dream -- not that you necessarily care to know, but I adore sharing dream stories with others. So here goes. Ideally, I would love to work for Teach for America for two years in an urban area on the east coast. What could be better than helping to prepare and equip children for their future by establishing within them not only key educational elements like how to read and write but teaching them how to learn. So incredible! Next, I envision law school or graduate school, so I might be able to teach at a university somewhere. Then I would open up a little coffee/cupcake shop in a two story building.
So on the bottom floor, it would be just a sweet-looking haven for students and adults alike from the community to escape into a world of peace. I so desire others to feel peace and joy, so it would be my prayer that every individual that walked into the little shop would be overwhelmed with love. EVERYONE NEEDS LOVE. So why not exude love in every way we know how? Now that the downstairs is planned out, walk with me upstairs. I'm envisioning a couple of rooms -- possibly all for different purposes. It would be incredible to house my magazine company there, as well as an inspiration room for writing novels and such. Then this idea is somewhat new, but I would love to have a room filled with supplies for women who have found themselves down on their luck -- simple things like business suits for interviews, lipstick, high heels, hygiene items, encouraging books, etc. Or maybe it could be for children, and my students from the university could come and tutor them? I am VERY passionate about education, so obviously that sounds quite beautiful to me.
Now I say all of these things and it is highly plausible that NONE of them will happen, but it is so enjoyable to spend an afternoon daydreaming of all of the beautiful things that "might be."
While this is seemingly random and somewhat unrelated, I was just reminded of this story that I must share. A few years ago I read a book by Rob Bell entitled Sex God -- incredible. I highly recommend it. Nonetheless, in the opening chapter, I feel like, he tells this story of the close of WWII. The war had officially ended and the precious individuals whose lives had yet to be taken in internment camps were finally free from the hideous oppression that had categorized every detail of their lives. The Allies were sending supplies via air drops to survivors. Apparently there was some mix up, and instead of sending necessities such as medical supplies and food, they had dropped boxes and boxes of lipstick.
At first the military officers overseeing this project were very irritated, because like most people would ask -- what the heck were they going to do with hundreds and hundreds of tubes of lipstick. But it was INCREDIBLE. The women in concentration camps had been stripped of every ounce of not only their femininity but their dignity. Their heads had been shaved; their bodies violated. Many were ill and broken and nearing death, but when they were able to put on lipstick, they felt beautiful. They felt as though they had regained their identities. After having been treated like animals for so long, they finally felt human once again.
How crazy that the Lord simple tubes of lipstick to restore the hope of his beautiful daughters.
Later in the book, Rob Bell talks about one of his friends who has a heart for saving individuals from the hideously corrupt "industry" of sex-trafficking. In regard to that, he wrote something I will never forget -- "In every decision we make, we bring heaven or hell to earth."
So while I am easily overwhelmed by the fact that I don't know what my life is going to look like in ten years let alone in ten days, I am literally broken by the fact that some individuals are living without the hope of even making it to tomorrow -- without anyone to hold onto or a single shoulder to cry on.
Maybe knowing what you're going to do in life isn't as important as knowing what makes your blood boil and your heart beat wildly. I firmly believe we have all been given SPECIFIC passions in life in order to change society around us for the better -- to bring pictures of heaven to earth with every action we take. Our world is corrupt. Hearts are broken on a daily basis. We are up against far more than we were created for, "My tears flow endlessly; they will not stop until the Lord looks down from heaven and sees. My heart is breaking over the fate of all the women of Jerusalem. [...] But I called on your name, Lord, from deep within the pit. You heard me when I cried, 'Listen to my pleading. Hear my cry for help!' Yes, you came when I called, you told me, 'Do not fear!'" -Lamentations 3:50-57ish (New Living Translation)
May our ears never quit hearing they cries of the oppressed. "The place where God calls you is the place where your greatest gladness and the world's deepest hunger meet." -CS Lewis
May we dwell on where the world's deepest hunger and our greatest gladness meet, for perhaps it is just there that we will find the answer to where the future path of our life might lead. More to come! All my love!